how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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