Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
