brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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