Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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