Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
