He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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