so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
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I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
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i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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