You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize