she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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