thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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