Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
