Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
