I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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