My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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