i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
