Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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