It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize