she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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