how do flat chested girls get laid?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
