It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
