I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
