He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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