he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
