no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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