Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We just shotgunned beers for America
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize