U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
