My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize