I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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