New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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