When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
