Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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