Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
