That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize