Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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