what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
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All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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