nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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