I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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