you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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