Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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