I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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