I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize