so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
