Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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