Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
