that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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