why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
