ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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