i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
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I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
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I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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