Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
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Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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