I've blown a few things in my day
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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