Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
