Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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