I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
