Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
