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• (214): View more from Texas

  LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.

  (972): View more from Texas

  I worry about you sometimes...

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• (716): View more from New York

  can you take me to a tanning bed

  (1-716): View more from New York

  sure, why though?

  (716): View more from New York

  i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious

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• (585): View more from New York

  she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over

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• (972): View more from Texas

  He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake

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• (310): View more from California

  Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?

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• (713): View more from Texas

  My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Shame?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE

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• (408): View more from California

  Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes

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