i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
In other news, I just burned my penis
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
