Can Purell be used as lube?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
