Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize