yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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