I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
