I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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