i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
