Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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