I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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