Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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