just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
